Someone dug up the fact that the economic stimulus package of nearly $820 billion included about $70,000 to study the effect of cocaine on chimpanzees. Every Republican to the right of Karl Marx began chattering and howling like rhesus monkeys on methamphetamine. It may be good politics to go on like that, but it’s yet another case where the catchy headline and nifty sound byte substitute for real thought.
Why assess the impact of cocaine on monkeys? The reason is simple beyond belief: Because we can’t experiment on human beings.
We can all agree that cocaine addiction is a bad thing in people.
One supposes that we can further agree, though this might be giving too much credit to the compassion of some of these Republicans, that it is a good thing to help cokeheads of the human variety to wean themselves from their addiction.
Monkeys are the creatures must like us in physiology and brain structure. Experimenting on them just might offer insight into ways to help their human cousins escape what can so easily become a nightmare. If anyone is entitled to object, it’s the monkeys and their human defenders from groups like PETA. The less squeamish among us will recognize animal research of the life-saving and -enhancing variety for what it is: a regrettable necessity.
The specific study in question was explained favorably by Adi Jaffe, a Ph.D. candidate from UCLA, who blogs about drug addiction for Psychology Today. He writes that researchers put a series of lone monkeys that had been previously identified either as dominant or subordinate into a cage next to a large group of unfamiliar monkeys who shrieked and jabbered like, well, Republican politicians. When the ordeal ended, the monkey was returned to normal surroundings and allowed to pull on levers that would provide either food or cocaine. The evidence seems conclusive that subordinate monkeys were more likely to dose themselves with cocaine than were dominant monkeys.
A logical next step would be to search for a healthier alternative to cocaine for the weaker monkeys. If it can work on monkeys, it may also work on humans. That would be a good thing.
Now if only we can find a way to wean politicians from their addiction to cheap headlines.
